BLOG OF RANDOMNESS

my random musings, now in words.

ME WRITES

  

June the 11th, 2010. 

Dear God. 

Does being confused about life makes us better? Why am I confused at the first place? Isn’t it clear enough that I want to grow up being a performer? And what about the second thoughts you shower me with lately? Dear God, I can’t read signs well. I need more guidance. Please. 

-M 

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January the 15th, 2010. 

God dearest, thank you for the gift of sorrow and happiness. With that, I’ve led my life to the unthinkable. I’ve dared myself to be with strangers, and you had guide me through with such dignity and patience. Without you, I am nowhere near where I am now. 

Shall I be praying to you for the people who are suffering now in Haiti. I hope they can see the reason behind why the devastation took place at first. May they grow stronger, and stronger. Every second and every minute, another soul is gone, but I am still here, thinking to myself, how lucky I am to be placed here, and not there. 

But through it all, there will always be the day I fear the most Dear God, which is the day nobody will take care of me, the day when my family will no longer exist. But I know you’ll be there. 

-M 

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November the 24th, 2009. 

Oh God, I’ve seen many, but do little, I’ve received so much, but seldom I forget to thank you. You’ve opened up my eyes and my heart to stuff that really matters, you bring wake up calls into my life and you gave me chances to improve myself to work things out. But I am still the .M., unimproved, old .M. 

I cannot see every single possibility in my future life, but I’ve promised myself to achieve my dreams before I die.  I’ve promised myself to repay all the sacrifices did by everyone to me. I’ve promised myself to die happy. 

Things that I had to deal, the ones that I had to witness through my eyes, I never knew such thing can occur to me, but it does, eventually. If jazz songs are made to calm me down, thank you. If my prayers are heard, thank you. If I am on my way to make myself a better person, a stronger person, thank you. 

What I saw, are those things that I do not want to believe. Please God, please do not make the bad things that I imagined haunt me, and make it into a reality. I have no strength. I need strength from you. 

-M 

 

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