my random musings, now in words.
I fuck myself with hatred words from the tongue of the manic blood. Dunk my soul in a pot of insults and bleach my heart in the agonizing pain that only God understands. I should be on Oprah. And live forever in Disneyland. Yes, I am your kind of blood who ‘perasan cantik/perasan pandai/pemalas/biadap’ . And you are the kind who kept on comparing me with another throughout the days I breathe, saying words that made me think that I should be in the next sequel of Precious, that made me believe that the song ‘No More Drama’ fits me like a glove but ultimately made me pray harder to God so that I can, for once, understand you. If you really knew me, I will always forgive you. But I will never forget the things you did. Yes I am your failure. I am your damned, unworthy rebel. But I am not letting you go. One day you’ll regret. No, you won’t be proud of me if I suceed, but you’ll regret for saying things nobody should say to their own blood. You made me so. Now live with it or leave me.