my random musings, now in words.

15 days to Twenty.


I was fifteen when I got the chance to go out with my friends secretly without The Mother’s knowing. I was fifteen when my poofy hair was at their prime.  I was fifteen when I embraced Roxy. But later felt pathetic after I read my first Harper’s Bazaar (with of course, Her Madgesty on the front, who else?) and vowed not to buy or mention that R-word ever again. I was fifteen when I received my very first designer item, which was a Moschino jacket, in a terrifying shade of orange, with gold zippers and a purple and green elephant at the back. It took me a year and a half later to get the courage to wear it in public, and from then on, I love that particular shade of orange. (tres Moschino? Oui! ) I was fifteen when I started on my mantra ‘I’ll be like Cate Blanchett or I’ll die trying’. I was fifteen when I discovered that I suffer from the infamous EWD (excessive Writing Disorder) and my English teacher advice me to stick to the normal two page standard essay when all I can come up with was a six page version.   I was fifteen when I successfully composed a ten minutes long orchestra piece. I was fifteen when I went to my first concert,which was Gwen Stefani’s, which also, set up a benchmark for the future live concerts I planned to attend during those days. But I was  awkward then. I think I am kinda awkward now, which does not make any sense at all. Today, however, has nothing to do with the above. I’ve felt this flustered feeling when an awkward girl met a wayy too cool boy in school and she is struggling not to think about that fella, at least, till her assignments are done. Like when there’s a sample sale, but you can’t make it there because you have to attend a class. Like when all of a sudden you discovered that you can’t trust nobody but yourself. Yeah, a bunch of mixed feelings, I’d say. One thing that will never change for yours truly; she can never what feeling is she exactly feeling at one point of time. Such abstractions.


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This entry was posted on October 13, 2010 by in MY CONCERNS.

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