my random musings, now in words.

So yesterday~

~ I was depressed. Or more like disappointed. Because of many things really. And one of them is about my English class. Remember that I had to write about something for English last Friday? Well, it just so happens that my English lecturer had checked our essays, and unfortunately for me, I did not get the best of marks. And just when you’ll go ‘Cehh English only maa, no hal lah!’ on me, allow me to explain further about why I am so disappointed because of this. Usually, I don’t mind being an average student for any other subjects (because Law sucks bad ya know), but ENGLISH, now that’s a different thing altogether. I worked my brains off during the placement test, and English had always been something that I strived to be excellent at. (But please, don’t judge this bloggie blog of mine to consider my level of English proficiency. Typing and writing are two different things. Really. At least for me, that is.)

So it is annoying, no, scratch that, it is unbearable to know that my essay marks are getting worser and worser by week. And it is pretty much a huge deal to me because I spend my pathetic and childish high school days topping the class for English, all thanks to the talent God gave me to write about something without limits. And now, look at me, typing this shit out here, disappointed. (Ok fine, obviously there are many many other brilliant student at my high school who wrote essays million times better than mine, but ya know, I am somewhere there ya know. My teachers like my essays, tales of my depressed life in words, and I like the fact that they liked my essays.)

The feeling when somebody has your um throne (?) for English is sick really. I kinda look at it like a challenge somehow (?) because I gotta have my recognition back. Ya know what I mean? I need to inspire myself more, know myself more and indulge myself with life experiences more, to come up with a decent English essay.

But how? The last book I read is somewhere early this year, and it is still half read. And the only reading materials that I read daily is *ehem, the Daily Mail UK,the  Business of Fashion webbie and as always, the NY Mag (because I konon perasan that I am a New Yorker hohoh)> So see??? I don’t read books anymore. When I read my first ever case in Law School, I was like ‘Whoa, I can be better in English now, cuz the judges are awesome yapping their judgement in English’. But apparently the problem with myself is that I cannot withstand the boringness of the judgements for even a full 5 minutes.

So there ya go, I, The .M., and I had spoken. It is time for this grandma to have her first meal of the day. As for all of you out there, I am pretty sure your life is so much better than mine (which includes oversized mushrooms and talking weirdo animals and fashionable people who takes risks a lot and constantly singing about the telephone) so enjoy it while you can ,because you can’t take it back once its gone. And thank you for reading. Here and here. I appreciate that, from the pit of my heart. Goodbye. And sorry for a picture-less entry. I am ugly anyway, so there’s no point in putting any. Goodbye now (again).


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This entry was posted on March 13, 2010 by in MY CONCERNS.

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