my random musings, now in words.
I am blessed to have clothes to wear every single day of my lifetime, but not fortunate enough to actually own any of my likings. I realized that I am into fashion ( the art, the essence of being in love in fashion, that is) since I am thirteen. I remebered flipping through a wedding magazine when suddenly a page filled with designs of wedding dresses put me in awe. i remebered thinking ‘Oh wow, so this is how designers draw their designs.’ Stupid little me, i was then.
Right at that moment, i took out a piece of paper and an old pencil, and started drawing human-like images on that parchement, without realizing that i look so pathetic. My first trial to make my own version of a human-like image wearing a wedding dress failed. But my first failure drives me to perfect my sketches. And as i build a close relationship with my old pencil, i found my own style to sketch my designs, and as of today,I am slowly perfecting it. So my love of fashion starts from there, officially. i was never the one who pleads to my mother to buy me clothes, because i know, my mother have other priorities to settle with. When i was in my high school phase, i was green with envy when my friends flashed their Guess watched or Roxy bags or Salvatore Ferragamo purses. Everytime i went to a mall, i’ll go to Topshop and places like that, to see the seamings and designs, and secretly wishing that one day i can purchase it.
Fast forward to being a sixteen year old schoolgirl. That was the year i started to collect my allowance money to purchase a copy of my first Harper’s Bazaar. Madonna was the covergirl, so i thought, to myself, i really need to buy this. And there it was, from then on, i read the Harper’s Bazaar religiously. And during this phase, whenever i went into such high-end stores, i’ll be like ‘Oh never mind, i cant afford this now, but probably i can design a piece like this twenty times better.’ There you go. An egomaniac was born.
Besides picturing myself as an actress, i know there’s a place for me in the fashion industry. As much as i hate sewing, i knw one day, I will have a garment to my name. (pardon my big dreams people.lols) And as i stepped myseld into University, where everyone were not wearing lousy uniforms anymore, i was in shock. I spent my first semester observing people and trying to find myself through how i wear my clothes. I told to myself that i CANNOT afford to blend in with everyone else because there is a need to STAND OUT.
Why i need the attention, you ask? I have no idea. Let us just blame my nature, shall we?
Considering that i do not have as many clothes under my posession, i started nicking my mother’s old clothes that i found interesting to wear. I finally, during me final semester of my Foundation year, manage to understand how i am suppose to dress , all in the name of pleasing my own soul. i also learn the hard way to actually MAKE a garment, and which i did, and which i got a first place in. (I won first place in designing my own garment out of recycled things.)
i know i looked different when i wear my mum’s clothes. i wore a vintage Mulberry knit bolero to class and everyone gave me that ‘weird’ look, which was exactly what i was looking for. I dont mean to show off, really, i just want to make a statement to people that I AM HERE NOT BEING A DUMB ASS WEARING THE SAME PIECE EVERYONE IS WEARING.
i feel that i love being different. i like seeing, believing and living differently. At that phase, i knew i had found the inner ‘vintage-y oldie dressing’ me.
I still wish i have acess to my mum’s credit card’s though, because the other day i went to Topshop and am so in love with this knit cardigan which cost a bomb! sigh. maybe i should stick with the hand-me-downs for now.