my random musings, now in words.


in my mum's pants

in my mum's pants

I am blessed to have clothes to wear every single day of my lifetime, but not fortunate enough to actually own any of my likings. I realized that I am into fashion ( the art, the essence of being in love in fashion, that is) since I am thirteen. I remebered flipping through a wedding magazine when suddenly a page filled with designs of wedding dresses put me in awe. i remebered thinking ‘Oh wow, so this is how designers draw their designs.’ Stupid little me, i was then.

Right at that moment, i took out a piece of paper and an old pencil, and started drawing human-like images on that parchement, without realizing that i look so pathetic. My first trial to make my own version of a human-like image wearing a wedding dress failed. But my first failure drives me to perfect my sketches. And as i build a close relationship with my old pencil, i found my own style to sketch my designs, and as of today,I am slowly perfecting it. So my love of fashion starts from there, officially. i was never the one who pleads to my mother to buy me clothes, because i know, my mother have other priorities to settle with. When i was in my high school phase, i was green with envy when my friends flashed their Guess watched or Roxy bags or Salvatore Ferragamo purses. Everytime i went to a mall, i’ll go to Topshop and places like that, to see the seamings and designs, and secretly wishing that one day i can purchase it.

This awesome knit scarf from Paris is so long, it can drape the both of us.

This awesome knit scarf from Paris is so long, it can drape the both of us.

Fast forward to being a sixteen year old schoolgirl. That was the year i started to collect my allowance money to purchase a copy of my first Harper’s Bazaar. Madonna was the covergirl, so i thought, to myself, i really need to buy this. And there it was, from then on, i read the Harper’s Bazaar religiously. And during this phase, whenever i went into such high-end stores, i’ll be like ‘Oh never mind, i cant afford this now, but probably i can design a piece like this twenty times better.’ There you go. An egomaniac was born.

MY VERY FIRST HARPER'S BAZAAR. yes i am still proud of this purchase.

MY VERY FIRST HARPER'S BAZAAR. yes i am still proud of this purchase.

Besides picturing myself as an actress, i know there’s a place for me in the fashion industry. As much as i hate sewing, i knw one day, I will have a garment to my name. (pardon my big dreams people.lols) And as i stepped myseld into University, where everyone were not wearing lousy uniforms anymore, i was in shock. I spent my first semester observing people and trying to find myself through how i wear my clothes. I told to myself that i CANNOT afford to blend in with everyone else because there is a need to STAND OUT.



Why i need the attention, you ask? I have no idea. Let us just blame my nature, shall we?

Considering that i do not have as many clothes under my posession, i started nicking my mother’s old clothes that i found interesting to wear. I finally, during me final semester of my Foundation year, manage to understand how i am suppose to dress , all in the name of pleasing my own soul. i also learn the hard way to actually MAKE a garment, and which i did, and which i got a first place in. (I won first place in designing my own garment out of recycled things.)



i know i looked different when i wear my mum’s clothes. i wore a vintage Mulberry knit bolero to class and everyone gave me that ‘weird’ look, which was exactly what i was looking for. I dont mean to show off, really, i just want to make a statement to people that I AM HERE NOT BEING A DUMB ASS WEARING THE SAME PIECE EVERYONE IS WEARING.

i feel that i love being different. i like seeing, believing and living differently. At that phase, i knew i had found the inner ‘vintage-y oldie dressing’ me.
I still wish i have acess to my mum’s credit card’s though, because the other day i went to Topshop and am so in love with this knit cardigan which cost a bomb! sigh. maybe i should stick with the hand-me-downs for now.


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This entry was posted on August 8, 2009 by in Le Fashion.

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